


Tale of Cola Oppa

by Hear_the_Dokidoki



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:18:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hear_the_Dokidoki/pseuds/Hear_the_Dokidoki
Summary: What happens when a demonic incantation brings forth the human manifestation of Coca-Cola?





	Tale of Cola Oppa

**Author's Note:**

> On tumblr, Coca-Cola oppa became a strange figure, as the brand deal took over the entire show, probably gaining more screentime than Seungmin and Woojin combined (i cri). This is kind of based on that inside joke, though it is mostly self-indulgent.

The 00-liners where sitting in Jisung, Seungmin and Hyunjin’s bedroom, illuminated by the light of huge 3-wick candle.

“I have a weird feeling about this,” Seungmin murmured.

“We’re just burning a candle and messing around,” Jisung replied, putting a reassuring arm around him. “Don’t worry!”

Felix was arranging 13 cans of Coca-Cola in a circle, humming quietly, which honestly freaked Seungmin out.

“Guys,” Seungmin called, shifting uncomfortably. “Remind me why we’re doing this…?”

“It’s Saturday the 13th,” Hyunjin replied.

Seungmin stared at him.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Felix commented, but he continued working on the cans’ placement. 

A moment passed, and Hyunjin turned to Seungmin with a shrug.

“Honestly, Jisung and I were just bored, and the others were sleeping, so we thought of this.”

Jisung offered a grin. “Come on, we same-aged friends should do this together!”

Seungmin was not convinced, but he knew that he went back to his bed now, he would be too curious to fall asleep. Plus, they’d probably be loud.

“You guys are weird…” he mumbled.

They continued setting the stage, until Hyunjin gave an approving nod. Seungmin looked around and found Felix wearing and oversized sweater, its hood covering his head and most of his face.

“Felix, what are you doing…?” Seungmin asked, unable to hold in a chuckle.

“I’m the ceremony master!” Felix replied, beaming.

“When did you guys decide all of that?” Seungmin questioned, gesturing vaguely at the room.

“While you went to get snacks,” said Jisung, his cheeks stuffed with what appeared to be marshmallows.

That’s when Seungmin decided he would not ask questions anymore.

Felix stood in the middle of the circle, the candle’s flames flickering just in front of him.

“Let us begin with the great humming, dedicated to the Great Carbonation!”

Hyunjin and Jisung began to hum in harmony, and a skeptical but somewhat amused Seungmin joined soon after.

Felix knelt and picked up a single can of Coca-Cola. He opened it with theatrical movements as 3 pairs of eyes studied his every movements. He began pouring the drink into the candle’s wax. A first flame died, and Felix spoke, his voice even deeper than usual.

“On this sacred night,” he began, articulating each syllabale.

The second flame was extinguished. 

“We call upon the great and mighty Coca-Cola spirit to come and bless us!”

Darkness fell as humming became greater and greater.

Seungmin was about to explode laughing when a blinding light came from the center of the room. The four boys had to shield their eyes, letting out shouts of surprise. A second later, the light started to dim. Felix had fallen to the side, and the three others were holding onto each other with every bit of strength they had. Jisung was the first to look up.

“Oh my god,” Seungmin heard, and he glanced at Jisung, who was staring at the at something with a terrified expression.

Seungmin turned to find… a boy?

He was standing there, looking like a deer in front of head lights.

“WHAT THE FUCK,” Felix finally screamed, and that was the signal for everything to dissolve into chaos.

A minute passed, during which everyone was pretty much just screaming.

“What the hell is going on?” a voice asked from behind.

Chan was standing at the door, half asleep, the rest of the members not far behind.

Seeing a source of security in their leader, the four members of the 00-line darted up and scrambled to him, half of them still screaming. Felix tripped on a can of coca-cola and Jisung stopped to pull him by the hand, while Seungmin and Hyunjin were already all over Chan, who was too confused and tired to understand anything.

After a good 30 seconds of incoherent cries, the leader finally lost it.

“WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP AND EXPLAIN WHAT’S GOING ON?”

Silence fell. Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix and Seungmin moved aside, revealing the boy sitting in the middle of the room, his arms around his knees, knuckles white.

“…which of you guys sneaked a friend into the dorm?” Chan asked in disbelief.

“We don’t know him!” Jisung replied, frantic.

“Oh, you’re telling me he just appeared out of thin air?”

“YES!” the 00-liners shouted.

Woojin stepped in. “Look, it’s 2am, do you guys really need to pull a prank right now?”

A vague a protestation immerged from the 4 accused.

Chan sighed, ignoring them. He walked towards the stranger.

“Who are you?” he asked, unable to keep his annoyance out of his voice.

The boy glanced at him but immediately looked back down. Chan noticed he seemed to be gasping for air. He turned to the rest with a quizzical expression, which was answered by as much confusion.

Chan tried again. “I’m sorry, but who are you, and why are you here?”

The boy didn’t reply, and Chan was about to speak again when the other simpply.. collapsed.

“Holy-” Chan let out, but his voice was covered by the steps of the other members.

They were now circling the unconscious body. Everyone was silent, dumbfoundingly observing the scene. The boy was wearing a red button-up and a black tie along white pants and brown, leather shoes. His hair fell on his forehead, but its color was hard to describe for it had an odd twist to it. 

Chan put a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder, another on Felix’s.

“Explain,” he demanded. “Now.”

The boys exchanged a look. It was Hyunjin who spoke and who explained the entire plot.

“So…” Chan let out carefully when Hyunjin was done. “You’re telling me that you tried invoking the spirit of Coca-Cola, and that this person appeared out of nowhere?”

“Yes!” the 00-liners replied.

Behind them, Minho and Changbin were laughing on the floor.

“THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER!” Seungmin shouted.

That calmed everyone down. Seungmin wasn’t the kind to raise his voice, especially in front of his hyungs.

Chan was frowning, now feeling a sense of gravity around him. He took a look at the stranger and at Jisung and Felix, who were hesitantly trying to wake him up.

“Seugmin…” Chan said quietly. “Are you serious…?”

At that moment, the boy at their feet shifted, and Chan knelt to look at his face.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

The boy nodded.

“Wh- What’s your name?”

A moment passed.

“It’s Coca-Cola,” the stranger replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole thing is weird af. Does anyone actually enjoy it (besides me)?? and/or wants to read more?? ^^'


End file.
